What is anticipatory grief?
Caregiving can be an emotional journey. If you’re providing care to someone with a terminal illness, you may need to prepare for the possibility of life without your loved one.
It’s common to feel sadness before a loss. This is called anticipatory grief, or pre-term grief. Recognizing this type of grief can help you prepare for the future. You can also learn ways to cope.
What is anticipatory grief?
Anticipatory grief happens when a person is facing the death of a loved one. It’s an emotional response that’s a lot like traditional grief. Both can include feelings of sadness, depression or anxiety. The main difference is that this type of grief happens before a death occurs.
The mourning experience is different for everyone. It can be shaped by many things, like your relationship with your loved one and how long you’ve been supporting them.
But processing any type of grief can bring up big feelings. It’s common for caregivers to feel emotional about:
The loss of independence that can come with a period of intense caregiving
Memories from before a loved one’s illness
The need to change future plans and milestones
These feelings can be challenging. But they are a normal part of getting ready for a loss.
Identifying anticipatory grief
Did you know that grief can come with physical, emotional and mental side effects?
This will look different from person to person. You may notice:
- Feelings of sadness or anger
- Heightened anxiety or dread
- A sense of guilt
- Physical symptoms such as restlessness, trouble sleeping or disorientation
- A strong desire to plan or "rehearse" the loss of your loved one
These are natural parts of the grieving process. Read on for strategies that can help you manage.
Coping with anticipatory grief
Saying goodbye to someone you love is never easy. But you don’t have to go through it alone.
If you think you’re going through anticipatory grief, look for resources for caregivers.
It’s important to take good care of yourself, too. In addition, consider these coping strategies:
Join a support group or online community where caregivers can connect and offer comfort
Get plenty of sleep and exercise
Look for a therapist or counselor to help you process feelings of grief or depression
Here’s one more thing to remember: give yourself time to heal. There is no one way to mourn, and grief doesn’t follow a set timeline. Be patient with yourself and take things one step at a time.
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