Phil Moeller: Overcoming a debilitating fear of falling

My extreme fear of falling was the topic of a 2023 UnitedHealthcare Newsroom article, which explained that falls are the leading cause of injury for older Americans.¹ It then continued with a list of largely defensive steps I planned to take to avoid another serious fall.

The good news is: I have not had a serious fall in more than four years, so chalk one up to a good defensive plan. But my vigilance has come at a cost. I avoid going to certain places and spending time with friends when there may be any risks. My fear of falling is, admittedly, reducing the quality of my life.

Last year, I came across a book, Afraid: Understanding the Purpose of Fear and Harnessing the Power of Anxiety by Arash Javanbakht.² Like me, he had had a terrifying experience that he thought might lead to serious injury or even his death. Unlike me, he is a psychiatrist and neuroscientist who helps people with such concerns develop the mindset to conquer their fears and to lead more fulfilling lives.

His remedy, in words to this effect: Phil, you’ve got to learn how to fall again but in a safe way. Doing so will reduce your fear of falling and, over time, reduce its grip on your life.

“Let's say I have a fear of public speaking,” he said. “My heart is pounding; my hands are sweaty. My breathing is heavy. Why is that?” Because our response to fear was formed maybe a million years ago, he explained, when fear was a primary defense against deadly animals and human foes.

As with his advice to me, Dr. Javanbakht said, “the way we deal with this is with exposure, actually, not avoidance. Always, when you're scared, if there's no objective threat, jump into it. You go into it because you want to prove to your animal brain that there's no objective threat.”

He continued: “That's where your fear and your wisdom can be friends with each other rather than clashing with each other.”

I am beginning a program soon with a physical therapist to teach me how to fall safely. It entails building up my lower and upper body strength and then “falling” onto a padded bench. The bench height can be adjusted so I will be falling from different heights. The therapist will have a strap around my chest at all times. As the falls get closer to the floor, we will experiment with successful strategies for getting up on my own.

I think of it as falling upward.